Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there was a trapeze. enough said
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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