if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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