i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
