Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
