She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
