FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish there were birth control emojis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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