He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?