ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize