Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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