I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
