If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
