pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
