how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
