do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
