thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
