it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
