What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
