There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
