Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
