pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
