I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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