sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
