I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
