I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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