just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
