Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
