now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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