you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
