Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
