Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
