i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
