i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
