so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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