what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
