I wanna bring you to show and tell
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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