Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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