i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
