How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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