I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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