Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
