you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I checked into jail on foursquare
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
