How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
