Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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