Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
