none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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