I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
