More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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