everyone is single if you try hard enough
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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