She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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