I am in a vortex of obligation.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
