yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
