he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
