Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
