I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
