I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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