just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
