I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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