I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
