you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
