your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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