my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you traded sex for a burrito?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I deserve this hangover.
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