You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
