You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
